How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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