Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
