you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
