My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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