Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
