On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
