I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
