Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
