she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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