i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
