so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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