I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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