Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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