he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
