I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
