Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
