Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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