What did we do last night that was yellow?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
