Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
