I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This is the high leading the old right now
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
