It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
