So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize