just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
