I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
