It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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