Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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