Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
