Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
