Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
