Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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