PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
