I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
