you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You've changed since you got that strap on
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
