did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize