Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Boobs are out for the taking
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize