out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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