1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
