problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I've blown a few things in my day
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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