I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
