can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize