My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
