There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
