I'm drive I can fine osifer
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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