A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
