i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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