so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
