this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
