i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize