i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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