was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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