Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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