when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
