i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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