I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Someone shattered a urinal.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
