12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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