Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize