I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
