she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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