Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
