Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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