who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
