i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
