I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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