the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
