I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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