the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
