Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize