Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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