I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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