Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
