You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
