I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
