Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
