ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
