Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
They have beer where we have blood.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize