This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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